Sir McHottness the Third Helps Me Grow a Pair
by Prof. A.N. Lupin
Summary: Lykaios Brendon isn't normal. She's got this person inside her head. Her name is Maybelle and she's Lykaios' only friend. Lykaios' crush on Remus is growing, he doesn't know who she is, and Sirius wants to help. What. The. Heck. Remus/OC
1. Chapter 1

I was sitting in my compartment on the Hogwarts Express, pondering the purpose of shoes, when the door opened and four boys walked-or rather they _marched_- into my compartment. Except for a short, stubbly boy, who more or less, toddled.

Now, I don't know what was going through their heads when they walked in, but you can't walk where someone else already is, then not even acknowledge them and well…they stepped on my foot in the process.

"Did anyone else feel a lump in the carpet?" asked a raven haired boy by the name of S something-or-other.

"It wasn't a lump," I began standing up. "It was my foot."

Whoever he was shot halfway up into the air, nearly hitting his head on the compartment ceiling in the process. He had obviously not known of my existence, but few do unless you count Maybelle.

_Ooh, fabulous. Another cute boy who doesn't know you Lykie!_

_Oh, shut up Maybelle, or I'll punch you in the ribs._

"Who the-oh hey, your cute!" he said. Well. Golly gee.

"And oh hey! You stepped on my foot!" It probably wasn't the best thing I could have said, but the look on his face was worth it. I mean, a messy haired boy nearly fell out of his seat laughing. It wasn't really that funny.

"I'm Sirius Black." He flipped his hair. I thought only popstars did that. Was he a popstar?

_Ask him if he's a popstar. He's cute enough._

" Are you a popstar? Maybelle thinks you might be."

"He's not a popstar."

"Shut up, James, I might as well be. I am fabulous."

I'm Lykaios Brendon. It mean wolfish, or wolf-like." A sandy haired boy across from me (who I later learned was Remus Lupin, along with James Potter and Peter Pettigrew) almost choked on his chocolate when I said this. I brushed it aside.

_That's great, Lykaios. Not only did you turn down who is probably the hottest guy in all of Hogwarts history, but you did it terribly mean!-ly!_

"I did not, Maybelle!" I said outloud absentmindedly.

"Maybelle?" Sirius asked.

"Maybelle isn't anyone of importance to you, Sirius. She's on of my friends. Inside my head."

The boys all looked at me like I had grown another head.

"Oh, your just upset because the Voices don't like speaking with you as much as they do me!"

_No! Don't tell them about me or the rest of us! They'll think your loony!_

_Which I absolutely am, Maybelle. I'm speaking to you._

"Lykaios," started James worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"Oh don't worry dearest James. I'm completely mostly sane. My therapist told me so."

The boys exchanged looks . I wonder why.

"Now," I said." If you could leave my compartment, I'd like to get back to pondering the purpose of shoes." They all then peered casually as they could down to my feet to see I wasn't wearing any shoes.

"All of mine have suddenly disappeared." I whispered.

_Oh, they'll never talk to you again! _Wailed Maybelle. _You actually had a chance!_

"Shut up Maybelle, or I'll poke you with a Q-Tip again."


	2. Chapter 2

By now dinner had ended, and I was supposed to be in my dorm,but I figured that no one would notice.

_**I mean who would suspect anything of you? You're just that girl who's therapist visits them every week!**_

_That I am Maybelle. That I am._

_**Where are you going anyway? The astronomy tower?**_

_Absolutely not! Do you know what goes on in the tower? I'd like to keep my innocence._

_I'm going to the Restricted section of the library. _

_**What happens in the astonomy tower**__?_

_Sirius and girls happen, Maybelle, Sirius and GIRLS…_

I was walking down the corridor to the library. I like to spend my lovely Hogwarts evenings there. The people in the books- they don't think I'm crazy. They _like_ me. They pop inside my head for a bit and jump back inside their books before I leave. Except for Maybelle. She took a liking to me, and I don't mind her in my head, we really are good friends. She just never went back to her book, and I'm fine with that. All the best characters are in the restricted section.

I walked into the library and darted over to the gates. I took out my key (which I'm not really supposed to have) and opened the door. I took in the smell of the books and thought "_Oh, the smell of book dust."_

_**Only you would love that smell.**_

_Did you know that dust is mostly dead human skin?_

_**EW! Jeez, Lykie, you're gonna make me barf!**_

_Can you barf inside my head? Aren't you just a voice?_

_**Well….a voice has to come from a mouth right?**_

_Shut up Maybelle, you're confusing me._

"You know Padfoot, just because there is a _picture_ of food in a book, does not mean you _eat_ the book."

"Shut up Moony, it was _delicious._"

"Pads, your body isn't made to digest that."

"You're not made to digest that."

"You're right Padfoot, I'm not. And you aren't either. Let's go find Madam Penn or maybe Lykaios. I saw her reading a medical book once…"

"Really Moony. How much trouble could I be in for eating a sheet of paper?"

"I'll have you know, my brother once ate some paper an- Oh, hi Lykaios."

"Hullo Remus. Sirius. What did Sirius do?"

"He ate a sheet of paper. All because it had a picture of candy on it."

"Oh, he'll be fine. I ate a few page of a book once."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, Professor McGonagall said it was brain food and Maybelle was getting hungry. She only eats paper food. And ink. She drinks ink. Like a vampire drinks blood. It kind of restarts her system."

Remus had gotten that odd look in his eye like most people get when I talk about Maybelle. I'm sure Sirius would have it too, but he was eating a few more pages from his cook book.

"Sorry, but I don't know a Maybelle, Lykaios."

"Maybelle is my friend. She lives inside my head."

"In your head?"

"Yes. But don't talk too much about it. She's very self conscious about it."

"Is she…"

"Don't talk about her in the third person. She says she doesn't like you."

_**No, I like Remus. He's cute.**_

_Well, you don't get a say._

_**Ask him if he wants to have tea.**_

"Maybelle wants to know if you want to have tea with her."

"Alright. I'd love to have tea with you." My smile faltered.

"Not with me, silly. With Maybelle!"

_**He doesn't believe in me. He wanted to have tea with YOU.**_

_Please, Maybelle. No one has TEA anymore. They just go song in an empty classroom or something._

_**He's talking! Pay attention!**_

"-tea?"

"I'm sorry Remus. Maybelle didn't catch that. She was having to good a time being old fashioned." I smiled at him.

_**Seriously?**_

_Sirius truly is eating paper. We ought to have him stop, he'll get a tummy ache._

"Im sorry, what?"

My eyes refoucused.

"Did I say much of that out loud? Sirius is still eating paper." Remus reached out ans whacked the back of Sirius's head. Sirius spat out the chewed up bits of paper onto the ground.

"Egh," I glanced at Remus who had made the noise. "Disgust, Sirius. Disgust."

"But _it's so good_."

I turned to back to the Restricted Section and made my way through the books. I picked up one about and innocent farm girl, one about a muggle named Emily, and another about trees before coming to a section I had only been in once before.

The Horror Fiction/Non-Fiction.

_**Go in. Can't hurt**__._

_Of course it can't. That's where I found you, remember?_

_**Course' I do. Now, go, go, go!**_

I found myself deciding that many of the books weren't worth my time, but most were very interesting. I picked up a few but Maybelle shot them down.

_What is it you want me to read? You wont let me touch anything._

_**If you picked anything worthwhile I wouldn't have to shoot you down.**_

_Hmph._

After walking out of ghost stories, I stumbled into an area labled "MAGICAL CREATURES: LEVEL: XXX (TRIPLE X)". I HAD to look in. I just HAD to.

After skimming different titles (and sadly telling the books that vampires and poltergeists just weren't interesting) I found myself upon werewolves. They seemed interesting enough. I, personally, didn't get all the hubbub. What's the trouble if someone turns into a beast once a month? Girls do that all the time, but we still get jobs and whatnot. I was about to pass by when Maybelle broke my eardrums.

_**Pick it up! You find a book I approve of and you **_**skip it**_**!**_

_I didn't think you'd approve._

_**Well I do.**_

I picked up the book. At a closer look, it wasn't just about werewolves. It was about Greyback, a evil werewolf who gave the rest of them bad names.

I can't wait to read it-

"Lykaios, what is that you're reading?"

"Ooh, Remus darling, you've just scared the hebiety bajjibies outta me. I see you're wearing shoes. Well, if you must, please wear louder ones so that I can sense your presence."

"I'll take it into consideration." He said, swiping my book.

"Grayback? Got an intrest in werewolves?"

"Wolf related rights. Thought I ought to get to the source."

"Source?"

"Well, werewolves wouldn't have such trouble with rights and whatnot if it wasn't for him. I mean, it's not a wolfs fault that they turn into a beast every month, is it? I mean girls do nearly the same thing, yet we get jobs."

He scoffed. "It's not nearly the same thing."

"Us girls are demons. Especially when we get together. Remus, our ovaries are like crazy wireless routers-"

"Routers?"

"Muggle thing. Anyway, they send hormone messages to each other I guess. Somehow they all decide that "Oh, lets bleed on the same day.". Plus, who do you know who can bleed for a week and not die? That's right. Girls."

"Well, as much as I do love talking about ovaries, let's not."

"Alrighty. What do you want to talk about then? Shoes?"

"Well, you're muggle born, right?"

"Yessir…"

"Could you give me a hand with Muggle Studies? What in the hell is a 'television'?"

"Well, it's a big box, I guess. It has all sorts of weird electronic-"

"Electronic?"

"-things inside of it. You press a button to turn it on and it plays things. Sort of like moving pictures, but with sound. A TV show is when those pictures and sound have a storyline."

"Oh. What about when they tell me to buys stuff?"

"It's called a commercial. It's where they tell you to buy stuff, and why."

"Thanks, I appreciate it. Do you need help with anything?"

"Remus, Sirius won't stop eating the cookbooks. The librarian won't be happy…"


End file.
